I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
