I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
