I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize