So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
