I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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