So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
