I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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