You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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