nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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