i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Randomize
