i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
oh god the rape fog is back!
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
