I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize