Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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