i already hear my dad disowning me
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
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ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
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In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first