I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
as a side note pls kill me
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
