I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
