We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
