ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
