the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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