you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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