She's JV to your varsity
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
