1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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