I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
