Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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