I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
