Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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