At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
