physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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