I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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