It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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