i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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