We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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