i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
