We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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