it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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