i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize