At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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