Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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