too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
two words...techno handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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