I wanna passion pit in your ass
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
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either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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