operation harelip BJ is a go
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
