I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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