): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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