Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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