I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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