thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
