don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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