There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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