well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
