my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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