i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
