somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
