After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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