Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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