I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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