You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What a dumb baby whore.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
