Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
