Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
