So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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