Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
