I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
