So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
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i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
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Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
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