yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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