I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
