It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
