You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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