An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
she peed on how many people?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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